SMART Contact, While Social Distancing - Video




During this time of social distancing, we want to give you some tips so you can have better communication, less marriage tension, and healthy boundaries (whether you’re separated OR stuck at home with your spouse).

The key to doing this is SMART Contact™. In SMART Contact, you stop doing the behaviors that “push” your spouse away and you start doing things that lay a foundation for healthy communication- for when your spouse is ready and willing to open up.

First, if you’re asking, “If I can’t even see my spouse during social distancing because we’re separated how can I even practice SMART Contact?” Here’s our first tip: do not do anything that will frustrate your spouse- especially when you don’t have to do it!

Now is not the time to step out and do something that isn’t necessary. For example, one of our live show callers said she called her husband's affair partner’s spouse. It didn’t go well. Her husband did not suddenly “come to a realization” and want to change. Instead, her husband moved out and it hurt both of the families involved. 

So, if you’re anxious and stressed and feel like you HAVE to respond to your spouse; that you have to say something RIGHT NOW… wait. Sleep on it. Consider if it’s still a good idea in 24 hours. Don’t rush into doing something that may be more harmful than helpful.

Next, if you’re asking, “We’re stuck at home together… How do I navigate this tension?” Then here’s our next tip: Stress adds on top of stress.

Stop your PUSH Behaviors. Give your spouse space. Don’t bombard them with things you want them to change. Instead, focus on creating a positive environment. Focus on gratitude and work on your PIES. Right now, you have an opportunity to display the positive changes you’ve been making!

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